His faithfulness is sufficient

This semester my studies are focussed on spiritual formation, perhaps most simply put as being about our growing in Christ-likeness. A discussion in many of the readings is that ever difficult line between what has already been done for/in us in Christ through grace (a free, unmerited gift) and the idea that this grace should change our behaviour and attitudes. The problem is that we have a tendency to measure God's approval and favour of us by what we do. We measure how loved or lovable we are (or someone else is) by various aspects of behaviour, from morals and behaviours to even our 'spirituality', 'anointing' or 'giftedness'.

It is a difficult question, though. I mean, if I am truly impacted by the love and grace of God, I will behave differently, won't I? I will be more loving toward others, more in tune with God's will, hear more clearly from Him. Surely?

On the flip side of this, however, I have wondered about how it seems to be possible to appear to hear from God and yet seem not to be transformed by Him. Then I realised that there is a huge difference between 'hearing from the Spirit' and 'walking in the Spirit'. It's all about what we do with it. Are we mere hearers, or do we actually do what we hear? (James 1:22-25)

Added to this, our hearing can be very selective. We can listen to the bits that support us, that help us maintain our position and ignore or remain deaf (blind) to those bits that challenge us to change. One of my readings talked about the idea that we even form "theologies" that enable us to ignore injustice either around us or even caused by us, to keep us in our comfortable place were we don't need to truly suffer or feel the pain of those who do. In the midst of this we walk another fine line of whether we can truly experience God's love and yet not truly love others (see 1 John 4), which might be demonstrated by standing with them in their suffering.

In the midst of this I am challenged by my own lack of love or compassion for others, particularly those who I see as perpetuating injustice. How do I truly love those who behave in ways that I see as damaging to others around them, whom I perceive as perpetrators of injustice and hypocrisy without joining them? I am reminded of the story of the unjust steward (Matt 18) and realise that I lack understanding of the size of the debt I have been released from which is why it is so easy to condemn others. 


A number of times more recently, I have been impacted by the idea that our culture has forgotten (or would rather forget) the importance of grief and lament and that even if we do acknowledge our need for these in the process of repentance, we often skip through it, we don't like to dwell there, and so move quickly on to focussing on the fact that we are forgiven and never properly comprehend our true inability to do good, to do what is right and so never fully appreciate what has been done for us on the cross. 


And that brings us to yet another of those fine lines, between condemnation and conviction. Perhaps we have experienced way too much condemnation (which says 'try harder' and 'you are not good enough') rather than conviction, where in the midst of understanding that our behaviour/attitudes are not acceptable, we experience being accepted and loved. 

Tying all this together, I got a great picture from one of my readings which has stuck with me. It is a quote from Hendrikus Berkhof as he discusses the role of grace in us, coupled with our faith (which, in turn is not ours but a gift!), and our inability to bring about any transformation in ourselves. He says:

"His faithfulness also consists in the fact that he creates and seeks our faithfulness and realizes his faithfulness in and through our faithfulness and so causes it to triumph. We do not persevere, but he perseveres, by constantly calling us, disturbing us, inspiring us ."

As much as we would like to think we have power in and of ourselves over any aspect of our lives for transformation, the reality is that He is gently pursuing, guiding and helping us every step of the way. We really don’t have to do anything but cooperate. How’s that for freedom!